Think you have what it takes to WIN???
So….
The family & I went to Mandarin (buffet!) tonight for our Thanksgiving dinner. We gave the idea of cooking a traditional meal the finger.
I pretty much only ate one meal a day for 4 days leading up to tonight. (and I shant be eating more than one a day for the next few…)
I kept track of my trips to the buffet with my camera. I ate a shitload.
So here’s the contest:
View the attached slideshow depicting the ridiculous amount of shit that I ate tonight.
The first person that can correctly identify every item that I consumed will win ONE THOUSAND half-pennies in bill form.
Check it out…here.
I didn't even get to use my joke about "polls" and "ridings"...
An actual call.....
*ring-ring*
Me: Mmmmmmmyessssss?
Info Gatherer: Hello sir, my name is Sarah and I am conducting a survey regarding the upcoming federal election. All questions that I ask are for statistical information gathering only, and your answers are kept confidential. May I have a moment of your time?
Me: Absolutely!
Info Gatherer: Thank you. So sir, if the federal election were to be held tomorrow, which party would you vote for...the Conservative Party, the Liberal Party, the New Democratic Party, Bloq Quebecois, or the Green Party?
Me: Ummmmmmmmm.........mmmmmmmmmmm........well........I'm going to have to say the black guy.
Info Gatherer: I beg your pardon?
Me: I think I am going to vote for the black guy.
Info Gatherer: (confused) Um, yes sir....this survey is with regards to the Canadian Federal election? You are a Canadian citizen?
Me: Yep! I'll probably go with the black guy because he seems to have stuffed my mailbox with the least amount of flyers. And I like that.
Info Gatherer: (befuddled) Uh...I'm sorry sir but I am really just looking for which party you intend....
Me: Oh alright, alright. I guess I'll say the Green Party. You wanna know why?
Info Gatherer: No sir that's alright, I'll put you down as choosing the Green Party....now just a couple more questions....what is your total household income, is it less than $30,000, between $30,000 and $55,000, between $55,000 and $80,000, $80,000 to $100,000, or more than $100,000?
Me: I make $219,000 a year. That's pretty good, right?
Info Gatherer: Are you 19-25 years of age, 26-40, 41-55, or over 55?
Me: Mmmmmm, 26-40. NO WAIT!.......I'm 30.
Info Gatherer: (confused) Ah, yes ok. And....what is your occupation?
Me: I run a puppy mill. Hey, you know what's funny?
Info Gatherer: What's that?
Me: Bill Cosby.
Info Gatherer: Ok sir, that's all of my questions...thank you very much for your time.
Me: Hey no problem lady, and listen....don't call me again.
*ring-ring*
Me: Mmmmmmmyessssss?
Info Gatherer: Hello sir, my name is Sarah and I am conducting a survey regarding the upcoming federal election. All questions that I ask are for statistical information gathering only, and your answers are kept confidential. May I have a moment of your time?
Me: Absolutely!
Info Gatherer: Thank you. So sir, if the federal election were to be held tomorrow, which party would you vote for...the Conservative Party, the Liberal Party, the New Democratic Party, Bloq Quebecois, or the Green Party?
Me: Ummmmmmmmm.........mmmmmmmmmmm........well........I'm going to have to say the black guy.
Info Gatherer: I beg your pardon?
Me: I think I am going to vote for the black guy.
Info Gatherer: (confused) Um, yes sir....this survey is with regards to the Canadian Federal election? You are a Canadian citizen?
Me: Yep! I'll probably go with the black guy because he seems to have stuffed my mailbox with the least amount of flyers. And I like that.
Info Gatherer: (befuddled) Uh...I'm sorry sir but I am really just looking for which party you intend....
Me: Oh alright, alright. I guess I'll say the Green Party. You wanna know why?
Info Gatherer: No sir that's alright, I'll put you down as choosing the Green Party....now just a couple more questions....what is your total household income, is it less than $30,000, between $30,000 and $55,000, between $55,000 and $80,000, $80,000 to $100,000, or more than $100,000?
Me: I make $219,000 a year. That's pretty good, right?
Info Gatherer: Are you 19-25 years of age, 26-40, 41-55, or over 55?
Me: Mmmmmm, 26-40. NO WAIT!.......I'm 30.
Info Gatherer: (confused) Ah, yes ok. And....what is your occupation?
Me: I run a puppy mill. Hey, you know what's funny?
Info Gatherer: What's that?
Me: Bill Cosby.
Info Gatherer: Ok sir, that's all of my questions...thank you very much for your time.
Me: Hey no problem lady, and listen....don't call me again.
Wednesday October 8th is Beautiful Bottom Day!
So here’s some nice bums….
