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Feb 5
When Your Movie Ends, GO HOME
Working in the hospitality/customer service field is really stressful on my constitution, largely because most people make me want to puke.
I want to like people, but more often than not, they suck.
Anyway, working at a movie theatre only reinforces this attitude. People go to the movies for escapist entertainment. It seems that in order to do so, they let their common sense and any intelligence they might have escape their thick skulls.
The bane of my existence is the hated credit-watchers. My schedule is such that, for me, quitting time is whenever the last show finishes. So, it varies week-to-week. Nothing pisses me off more than having 5 out of 6 auditoriums finish 30 minutes before the last one (meaning I am staying a full half-hour later because of one show) and then to make matters worse, there will inevitably be a few people (sometimes just one person) sitting watching the entire list of credits. If it weren't for these assholes, I could turn the fucking thing off and get out.
Mostly, they are only watching them because they want to find out one of two things: either they're looking to find something related to a song in the film, or they want to know where it was filmed. Naturally, these two things are listed last. Meanwhile, I am standing in the lobby, with my coat on, tapping my foot impatiently and saying to myself (out loud) "For fuck's sake...get the internet you assholes."
This happens even more frequently when people know that their movie was filmed in their town. They just need to have what they already know validated by seeing the town's name on the screen. Oooh! What a thrill!
And filmmakers today seem to be deliberately trying to make me go insane by making their end-credits more "fun" by having cute little sequences, or blooper reels accompany them, which just keeps all the fat-asses in the seats even longer.
Anyway, I could go on and on and on about my rage.....the reason I started this rant was because this very scenario happened to me on back-to-back nights this week. I had started the show that gets out last 10 mins early (i.e. the 10 mins of trailers played, and the film itself started at the scheduled time....rather than starting the trailers at the scheduled time....thereby allowing me to get out 10 mins early).
On both occasions, I had strange, freakish women fuck up my plan. The first one was the Bozo clown-lookin freakshow I posted the video of a couple days ago.
Then last night, everyone was out of the building and I had just switched off all the lights and was making for the exit to lock up when I caught this....woman....out of the corner of my eye. She was exiting an auditorium where the film had ended something like 30 minutes prior. Why she was sitting in the dark for that long I don't know.
Anyway, I said: "Jeez, I thought everyone was gone! I almost just locked you in here!".....and here she comes, pushing one of those shopping cart/walker-on-wheels things....she's an older black lady with a HUGE blond hairdo that I took to be a wig. She looked very much like a bag-lady.
So she thanks me and starts to leave when she suddenly says: "Oh...I just need to use the washroom."
Which she does. For the next 10 agonizing minutes. I was beside myself with anger.
When she finally got out and I locked up behind her, I took one parting glance at her ambling away and thought: "Oh man, I have to get video of this..."
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Feb 4
New Vampire Weekend
Cousins by Vampire Weekend
I picked up the new Vampire Weekend album last week ("Contra") and have been enjoying it.
Leave it to me to realize too late that they're coming to town for a show next month. I went to get tickets, but it's long sold out. I may still yet try to get some on Kijiji or Craigslist or something and bring my lady.
This one is the single...
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Feb 4
HAWT!
Now, there's bound to be some saps that want to tell me how mean I am and all that, to which I have 3 things to say:
1. This...person...got revenge on me in the end: at the end of the night I got out almost 15 minutes later than I should have because of Bozo here taking a prolonged shit. Everyone else in the building had long left. So....good for her (it).
2. Get over yourself.
3. Don't feel bad for her....I'm sure she has just a great life, what with all the cash she made playing Drew Carey's comedic foil on that show for years.
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Feb 4
Life Lessons I Pass Onto My Kids #2
ME: (reacting to finding a small toy in my shoe) "What the heck?!" SAM: "Tommy's not allowed to say 'what the heck' at their house. His dad says 'heck' is a bad word."
ME: "Well, it's not and Tommy's dad is a fucking dickhead and how do you like that?"
PATRICK: (looking up from his videogame) "Awesome."
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